slow and steady wins the race?
gen z don’t think so
gen z — anyone born between 1996 and 2012. (it’s weird that, after all my years on this earth, i’m still counted as gen z).
often characterized by their rebellious nature, they’re the generation that believes in flipping the script and writing their own story. what’s usually called ancient wisdom? not their concern.
quick note: this is all for laughs and social commentary. like all advice out there, context is required to make sense of it.
in no particular order, here are some classic quotes and their gen-z equivalents:
1. slow and steady wins the race.
gen z: move fast or get left behind.
consistency is great, but speed wins attention? the world moves at breakneck pace, and steady progress can mean getting lapped by someone who pivots faster. in the attention economy and rapid innovation cycles, sometimes you need to sprint to stay relevant, then find your sustainable pace.
2. the patient dog eats the fattest bone.
gen z: the patient dog starves to death. or in pidgin, patient dog, hunger don kill am.
in my dialect, we say “ara agbaala patient dog” — the patient dog has run mad. sometimes patience is just procrastination with a good reputation. while others wait for permission, we’re already building.
3. what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
gen z: what doesn’t kill you gives you trauma… and a weird sense of humor.
resilience is great, but so are therapy and memes. sometimes laughing about your scars is the only way forward. we’re out here turning our therapy sessions into tiktok content, after all.
4. look before you leap
gen z: if you think too much, you’ll never jump.
you want to make informed decisions, but be careful not to fall into analysis paralysis. the best time to plant a tree was yesterday; the second best time is now. sometimes you have to jump first, then open your parachute on the way down.
5. the early bird catches the worm
gen z: the second mouse gets the cheese.
waking early is great, but rest matters too. while the first bird, or mouse, deals with the trap, the second arrives rested and takes the prize without the risk. this resonates with my piece titled f*ck deadlines: nothing is urgent.
6. don’t judge a book by its cover
gen z: what are you going to tell the graphic designer?
this one hits too close to home as a designer. that first impression literally pays my bills. in a world where you have 3 seconds to grab someone’s attention, aesthetics aren’t shallow. they’re strategic. if your book cover doesn’t make me want to pick it up, i’m moving on to the next one.
7. if you love something, let it go
gen z: if you ghost me, stay ghost.
love endures even when it’s difficult. we’re not playing games where disappearing is somehow romantic. either you’re here or you’re not. no breadcrumbs, no mixed signals.
8. all that glitters is not gold
gen z: give me all that glitters, i’ll decide which is gold.
if it shines and catches the eye, it is worth a closer look before dismissing it. we’re the generation that made fake it till you make it into an art form, and sometimes the fake becomes real through sheer force of will.
9. money can’t buy happiness
gen z: better to cry in a lamborghini than on the bus.
sadness in luxury hits different — at least the seats are heated. money might not buy happiness, but it sure does buy options, therapy, and the freedom to pursue what actually makes you happy.
10. silence is golden
gen z: closed mouths don’t get fed.
if you don’t speak up, you don’t get opportunities. i was naturally introverted, but i had to learn performative extroversion because staying quiet cost me jobs, connections and chances. i wish i had started speaking up sooner. in a world where your network is your net worth, silence isn’t golden. it’s expensive. the loudest voices get heard, and getting heard gets you paid.
11. jack of all trades, master of none
gen z: jack of all trades, booked and busy.
versatility is a flex now, not a flaw, especially in this era of ai automation. the original quote actually ends with “but oftentimes better than master of one.” the generalist wins by doing enough of everything to stay indispensable and adaptable.
12. do unto others as you would have them do unto you
gen z: if you scratch my back, i’ll scratch yours.
match energy. no more, no less. reciprocity trumps morality these days. we’re not saints. we’re practical. you give what you get, and you get what you give.
13. you can’t eat your cake and have it
gen z: not when i can order more cake.
scarcity mindset is so last century. in a world of delivery apps and endless options, abundance is just one click away. why choose when you can have both?
14. once bitten, twice shy
gen z: once bitten, bite back. or in pidgin, first to do no dey pain.
similar to the reciprocity principle above, if someone hurts you, return the energy. why shy away when you can stand your ground? we’re not victims, we’re equals who demand respect.
what traditional wisdom are you tired of hearing? let’s roast it together.
