Lost in thoughts
It's 1:00 AM on December 26, 2024. I'm awake and lost in thought. I had been doomscrolling on Instagram when I stumbled upon an ex-classmate's account. I didn’t even realize I was following them. They seemed to have their life figured out—finances, relationships, career, purpose. The amount of progress I perceived made me question my own. Would I ever reach such heights? Is my current life all it’s going to be? Am I a late bloomer, or worse, a no-bloomer?
I have lofty goals, and I don’t think I lack the ability to achieve them. But sometimes, I tell myself I lack privilege—the privilege of well-to-do parents or a solid network of friends and connections, often tied to the former. This isn’t an attempt to diminish my classmate's efforts; it’s simply an attempt to feel better about myself.
The thing about feelings, though, is that they’re fleeting. And it's been said that we experience negativity more frequently than positivity, suggesting sadness often overshadows happiness. And excuses? Well, they’re never-ending.
In moments like this, I remind myself of something I heard in a self-help video:
You must send blame out of your life for any conditions of your life.
It’s a simple yet profound idea—that I alone am responsible for my life’s direction. Blaming external circumstances won’t bring me closer to the person I want to become.
Growth takes time, and comparison is the thief of joy. What matters is how I respond to these moments—whether I allow them to hold me back or use them as fuel to move forward. No matter how long the journey takes, I want to embody strength, love, and purpose. Perhaps, in the end, that’s what truly makes it all worthwhile.
