letters to my best friend
nine
hey man,
have you ever been so upset that you thought the only thing that would bring you relief was to splurge on expensive items? that was how i felt on the day of your memorial talk. i did not feel any better afterwards… not one bit. in fact, i felt worse. what was i thinking?
i guess i was not thinking, not of anything else but you. how did this happen? how is it that you are the one being talked about in a memorial? that your pictures were used for a slideshow, presented for all in attendance to see, with a song that made the emotions even heavier?
it was surreal entering the church compound without you. we used to drop you off there some tuesdays after school. you would have spent some hours at home with us, gisting, laughing, eating, playing games or doing school projects… too bad my first time entering the building was for your memorial, not your wedding, or any fancy celebration you would have had that meant inviting friends.
i felt a sharp pain in my chest when the closing song was being sung, and i genuinely thought i was going to have a heart attack. yeah, it hurt that bad. bad enough that splurging on expensive gadgets — my usual drug — could not fix. you used to marvel at my love for them. i remember sending you that unboxing video of my dell xps, and how you were genuinely happy for me.
anyway, i kept a hard face. i did not shed a tear. i could not. maybe someday i will, maybe when the world has known your name. but not today.
till we meet again, man… i miss you to bits.
